hiramani reunion pics

Stupid Quotes By Bush

"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
...George W. Bush

"Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child."
...Governor George W. Bush

"Welcome to Mrs. Bush, and my fellow astronauts."
...Governor George W. Bush

"Mars is essentially in the same orbit...Mars is somewhat the same distance from the Sun, which is very important. We have seen pictures where there are canals, we believe, and water. If there is water, that means there is oxygen. If oxygen, that means we can breathe."
...Governor George W. Bush, 8/11/94

"The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean in this century's history. But we all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century."
...Governor George W. Bush, 9/15/95

"I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy -- but that could change."
...Governor George W. Bush, 5/22/98

"One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is 'to be prepared'."
...Governor George W. Bush, 12/6/93

"Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things."
...Governor George W. Bush, 11/30/96

"I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in the future."
...Governor George W. Bush

"The future will be better tomorrow."
...Governor George W. Bush

"We're going to have the best educated American people in the world."
...Governor George W. Bush 9/21/97

"People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and have a tremendous impact on history."
...Governor George W. Bush

"I stand by all the misstatements that I've made."
...Governor George W. Bush to Sam Donaldson, 8/17/93

"We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a part of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe. We are a part of Europe."
...Governor George W. Bush

"Public speaking is very easy."
...Governor George W. Bush to reporters

"I am not part of the problem. I am a Republican."
...Governor George W. Bush

"A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls."
...Governor George W. Bush

"When I have been asked who caused the riots and the killing in LA, my answer has been direct & simple: Who is to blame for the riots? The rioters are to blame. Who is to blame for the killings? The killers are to blame."
...George W. Bush

"Illegitimacy is something we should talk about in terms of not having it."
...Governor George W. Bush 5/20/96

"We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur."
...Governor George W. Bush 9/22/97

"For NASA, space is still a high priority."
...Governor George W. Bush, 9/5/93

"Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children."
...Governor George W. Bush , 9/18/95

"The American people would not want to know of any misquotes that George Bush may or may not make."
...Governor George W. Bush

"We're all capable of mistakes, but I do not care to enlighten you on the mistakes we may or may not have made."
...Governor George W. Bush

"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
...Governor George W. Bush

"[It's] time for the human race to enter the solar system."
...Governor George W. Bush

Pakistani Mths Paper

PAKISTANI MATHS QUESTION PAPER

Instructions:

i) Students found copying will be shot on the spot.

ii)Any student coming late after 10 minutes after the exam starts will be forced to join Al Qayda group.

iii)AK-47's and Grenades are not allowed in the exam hall. Students may keep their daggers, Revolvers and pack of anthrax bombs only for self defense.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Math Exam Time 3 hours Full Marks 100

All questions are compulsory.

1. Abdul was sent to jail for murder .He has 7 wives in his house.

Abdul distributed money to his wives in such a proportion that the youngest and most recent wife receives maximum and oldest wife gets minimum, and each wife gets double of her former competitor. Abdul has 1700 Rupaye left in his house. Abdul's oldest wife needs atleast 25 rupaye per month. Find out the time when Abdul will have to break Jail to come out and earn money so that his wives do not starve.

2. Karim is a Drug seller. Prices per gram of Marijuana, hasis, haroine and LHD s are 50, 60,70,80 Rupaye respectively. Karim offers a discount of Rupaye 20 for his buyers who buys more than 50 grams of drug. If Rahim , a buyer gets Rupaye 37 discount , find out the grams of LHD he bought.

3. Imran tampers the ball thrice per over. He deforms the ball .02% of its original shape each time . Find the percentage deformation the ball due to tampering in a one day series against India in which Imran bowled 9.3 overs.

4. Rauf has a Company named Al Allah Kidnapping & Murder Private Limited. He has to threat 10 people per day over Telephone. 40% of the people he threats are cinema stars in Mumbai, 30% are Businessman in Delhi, 20% are Cricket Players in Madras and 10% are shopkeepres in Calcutta . If ISD charges are rupaye 15, 25, 40, 50 per minute from Rauf's city Islamabad to Bombay, Delhi,Calcutta and Madras respectively and he gets a Telephone bill of 10,230 Rupaya in a month Find out The No of Cinema stars in Mumbai ,threatened in that particular month.

5. A terrorist group has to provide one Ak 47.one AK 49,one Rocket Launcher, 50 Grenades and one pack of RDX to its Ron roots for training.One AK 47 costs 100$; One Ak 49 costs 150 $,A Bazuka rocket Launcher costs 250 $ , grenade is 3 $ each, a pack of Rdx Bomb attached with remote Control is 500 $.

The terrorist group admits 2000 new people every year out of which 30 % are court-martialed. Find the amt of Foreign Money Pakistan Govt has to provide each year to run such a group.

6. If stabilty of democratic Govt. in pakistan is given by the following equation X exp3 +X exp2 -16 = i, where the notations have their usual meaning; Find out x.

7. Probaliblity of a Pakistani prime minister to be shot is 78 %.

Probabilty of a Military general to be shot is 80% .

Find the joint probability of a Prime minister to be shot who is also a Military general.

8) Find out geometrically the area of Paktunistaan using PI Theorem with Osama BIn Ladens Correction (That is taking the value of PI = 786 instead of 3.14....), if Paktunistaan is taken as a heptagon.

9) A 'GHAURI' missile tries to fly from Drass to Kargil which is not too far from Drass (say 100 miles) and is exactly to the East of Drass . The wind is blowing from the South and the speed of the wind is exactly equal to the speed of the airplane. (The speed of the airplane is measured with respect to the air!) The pilot decides to steer straight to Kargil all the time during the flight.

Will the airplane ever reach Kargil ? What if the speed of the wind is k times the speed of the airplane, where k is a positive number (can be greater or less than 1)? Try to sketch the trajectory of the airplane (with respect to the ground, of course) in each of the three cases:

k=1, k1 and k<1.

10) Briefly discuss the Unsolved problem of "Bisection of a Triangle" with a Compass and an unmarked ruler if the triangle is named as KASHMIR.

amazing facts

Coca-Cola was originally green.

The most common name in the world is Mohammed.

The name of all the continents end with the same letter that they start with.

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.

Women blink nearly twice as much as men!

You can't kill yourself by holding your breath.

It is impossible to lick your elbow.

People say "Bless you" when you sneeze because when you sneeze, your heart stops for a millisecond.

It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky.

The "sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick" is said to be the toughest tongue twister in the English language.

If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib. If you try to suppress a sneeze, you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck and die.

Each king in a deck of playing cards represents great king from histor. Spades - King David ; Clubs - Alexander the Great, Hearts - Charlemagne; Diamonds - Julius Caesar.

111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321

If a statue of a person in the park on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle.If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.

What do bullet proof vests, fire escapes, wind! shield wipers and laser printers all have in common?

Ans. - All invented by women.

Question - This is the only food that doesn't spoil. What is this?

Ans. - Honey

A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.

A snail can sleep for three years.

All polar bears are left handed.

American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one olive from each salad served in first-class.

Butterflies taste with their feet.

Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.

In the last 4000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.

Shakespeare invented the word 'assassination' and 'bump'.

The ant always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.

The electric chair was invented by a dentist.

The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.

Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have over million descendants.

Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times.

The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.

Most lipstick contains fish scales.

Like fingerprints, everyone's tongue print is different.

Why the U.S navy .............

Change your course now

This is the transcript of an actual radio conversation of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October, 1995.


Radio conversation released by the Chief of Naval Operations on November 10, 1995.

Americans: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision.

Canadians: Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.

Americans: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.

Canadians: No. I say again, you divert YOUR course.

Americans: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN, THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES' ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS, AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH, THAT'S ONE FIVE DEGREES NORTH, OR COUNTER-MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP.

Canadians: This is a lighthouse. Your call.

Madness Is Same as Sanity

This shall prove that every Normal person is Mad or all Mad people are Normal.


Mad=Mad
Mad=1/2 Mad + 1/2 Mad
But.......... 1/2 Mad=1/2 Normal


Hence,
Mad=1/2 Normal + 1/2 Normal
so
Mad = Normal.




So every normal person is mad.

So the 1 writing this blog, me, is mad, and u , the 1 reading the blog also needs to see the Mental Doctor.

But i guess he is also mad or is he normal?

I am really going to go mad now.
Or become Normal?
OR MAD?
OR NORMAL?

Something Abt The Dollar

Dollars equal cents
Theorem: 1$ = 1c.
Proof:
And another that gives you a sense of money disappearing.

1$ = 100c
= (10c)^2
= (0.1$)^2
= 0.01$
= 1c

Here $ means dollars and c means cents.

Reasons Why Maths Is Tough

• Theorem: 3=4

Proof:

Suppose:
a + b = c

This can also be written as:
4a - 3a + 4b - 3b = 4c - 3c

After reorganizing:
4a + 4b - 4c = 3a + 3b - 3c

Take the constants out of the brackets:
4 * (a+b-c) = 3 * (a+b-c)

Remove the same term left and right:
4 = 3

• Theorem: All positive integers are equal.

Proof: Sufficient to show that for any two positive integers, A and B, A = B.

Further, it is sufficient to show that for all N > 0, if A and B (positive integers) satisfy (MAX(A, B) = N) then A = B.

Proceed by induction.

If N = 1, then A and B, being positive integers, must both be 1. So A = B.

Assume that the theorem is true for some value k. Take A and B with MAX(A, B) = k+1. Then MAX((A-1), (B-1)) = k. And hence (A-1) = (B-1). Consequently, A = B.

Four is equal to five

Theorem: 4 = 5
Proof:
-20 = -20
16 - 36 = 25 - 45
4^2 - 9*4 = 5^2 - 9*5
4^2 - 9*4 + 81/4 = 5^2 - 9*5 + 81/4
(4 - 9/2)^2 = (5 - 9/2)^2
4 - 9/2 = 5 - 9/2
4 = 5

The Emails That I Get

I want to thank all my friends and other unknown people who have
forwarded chain emails to me in 2003, 2004 & 2005 and 2006.

Because of your kindness:

I stopped drinking Coca-Cola after I found out that it's good only for
removing
toilet stains.

I stopped going to the movies for fear of sitting on a needle infected
with AIDS

I smell like a wet dog since I stopped using deodorants because they
cause
cancer.

I also stopped answering the phone for fear that they may ask me to
dial a
stupid number and then I get a phone bill from hell with calls to
Uganda ,
Singapore and Tokyo.

I also stopped drinking water outside for fear that I will get
sick from
the rat shit and urine.

When I go to parties, I don't look at any girl, no matter how hot she
is, for
fear that she will take me to a hotel, drug me, then take my kidneys
and leave
me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice.

I also donated all my savings to the Amy Bruce account. A sick girl
that was
about to die in the hospital about 7,000 times. (Poor girl! she's been
7 since
1993...)

My free Nokia phone never arrived and neither did the free passes for a
paid
vacation to Disneyland.

Made some Hundred wishes before forwarding those Dalai Lama, Ganesh
Vandana,
Tirupathi Balaji pics etc..

Now most of those "Wishes" are already married (to someone else)!


If ORKUT deletes my account, it doesn't matter BUT PLEASE DON'T SEND me
"Orkut is
deleting accounts: Due to sudden rush..." Otherwise I'll delete my
E-Mail
account!


IMPORTANT NOTE:
If you do not send this e-mail to at least 913760 people in the next 10
seconds,
a bird will shit on your head today at 6:30 p.m

India Finally Wins (thanks to the windies)

India finally won their 1st match of the triangular series in Singapore and tht too due to the habbit of the WestIndies. The windies team has a very bad habbit of giving up games which they have in their hands. This was evident in their match against the Australians.
So the message to the Indian team is clear, stop fooling around with the experiment theory and get back to work. The really test of the Indian team will be against the aussies who are riding on a high.

The only +ve sing in the Indian team is that Sachin Tendulakar is back.the authority with which he is controlling the game is superb, the term perfection could not be personified better.

The rest of the team really sucks currently, Virendra Sehwag doesn't have a clue where the ball is and at the end of it he finds the ball hitting his stumps. The much hyped Mahendrashing Dhoni also looks like a overgrown kid with over grown hair given a bat to throw at every thing tht comes to him. And the wall has cracks and cracks so big tht even the Rajdhani Exprees could go through it. The way in which he has got out in the past matches is just pathetic. He cant even catch the ball in the slips, he leaves tht too for Dhoni to do.Thnk god Dhoni can catch the ball. The batting now rests in the hands of the reliable(!!!!!!) Harbhajan Singh. Thnk god for the windies team tht the have this habbit or the MEN IN BLUE would have got their asses kicked big time.

But now the Aussies r going to do their job, the will come on the field, play some real cricket aging Sachin Tendulkar while the rest of the Indian team would do their usual job i.e. act like real Losers.

Greg Chappel deserves to get a kick u know where for the experiments he has been doing with the team and disturbing the little balance which our team had achieved.

And a final msg for Rahul Dravid, stop kissing chappels ass. U r so deep into his ass tht it is hard to know where he ends and u start.................................

So the Indian team go there and get Busted. And if we win By chance tht will only be because of Tendulkar or tht luck favors them and the rain gods too.

Things which have been said in the court room

Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July fifteenth.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.

Q: This myasthenia gravis - does it affect your memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?

Q: All your responses must be oral, okay? What school did you go to?
A: Oral.

Q: How old is your son - the one living with you.
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.

Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?
A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.

Q: Sir, what is your IQ?
A: Well, I can see pretty well, I think.

Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in the voodoo occult?
A: We both do.
Q: Voodoo?
A: We do.
Q: You do?
A: Yes, voodoo.

Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?

Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?

Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?

Q: Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?

Q: Did he kill you?

Q: How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?

Q: You were there until the time you left, is that true?

Q: How many times have you committed suicide?

Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time?

Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?

Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement?
A: Yes.
Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?

Q: Mr. Slattery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you?
A: I went to Europe, sir.
Q: And you took your new wife?

Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?

Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male, or a female?

Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.

Current News

The Thai military launched a coup against Prime Minister Thaksin Shinawatra on Tuesday night, circling his offices with tanks, seizing control of TV stations and declaring a provisional authority pledging loyalty to the king.

An announcement on Thai television declared that a 'Council of Administrative Reform' with King Bhumibol Adulyadej as head of state had seized power in Bangkok and nearby provinces without any resistance.

At least 14 tanks surrounded the Government House, Thaksin’s office. Thaksin was in New York at the UN General Assembly and declared a state of emergency via a government-owned TV station.

A convoy of four tanks rigged with loudspeakers and sirens rolled through a busy commercial district warning people to get off the street for their own safety.

A senior military official said army commander-in-chief Gen Sondhi Boonyaratkalin had used the military to take over power from the prime minister.

Thaksin has faced calls to step down amid allegations of corruption and abuse of power. Massive rallies earlier this year forced him to dissolve Parliament and call an election in April, three years ahead of schedule.

The poll was boycotted by opposition parties and later annulled by Thailand’s top courts, leaving the country without a working legislature.

Thaksin’s Thai Rak Thai Party twice won landslide victories in 2001 and 2005 and had been expected to win the next vote on October 15, bolstered by support in the country’s rural areas.

why

• why does it have to rain just when I am abt to leave for college?
• why does my phone have to ring the moment I enter my house when it was silent 4 the whole day?
• why does it happen tht the police wala have to catch me on the day I 4got to take my helmet when for months I have been going around in the city with my helmet just locked to my bike?
• why do the damn cows have to sit in the middle of the road when there's all the space in the world where they can?
• why does the principal of my college have to not be in his office when I have to meet him 4 some work, he's always there when the professor sends us to him?
• why is it tht my cell phone camera doesn't work when I have the perfect pic to click?
• why is that nokia reduced the price of 7610 by a 1000 bugs jus a month after I got it?
• why is it if anything is broken in the house I have to get the blame for it?
• why is tht my tuition teachers always thought tht I am really dumb?
• why does my cousin brother( read the 3 year old devil, terrorist, barbarian,hooligan) have to mess around with my stuff?
• why is it tht the professors of my college think tht I am the most notorious one while I can show them a bunch of bin laden wannabes jus besides me?
• why is it tht not even a single person in a government office or institution or even in my college can give a straight answer to a straight question?
• why is it tht there is never a good place to park in the shopping moll or in a multiplex parking?

NOW CAN ANY ONE TELL ME THE NAME OF THE PERSON WHO CAN ANSWER MY QUESTIONS?